part 2 (of 4)
PUBLISHED ON MARCH 23, 2020
BY BRIT KOLO
here's what we know:
Part 1 (of 4): You matter more than your Ideal Client Avatar.
Okay, so we’re aiming for business growth, minus the frustration, the disappointment, and definitely without the failure.
But wait a second.
That sounds nice, but at the end of the day, you want this to work.
You want to show up to your desk each and every day and have your actions WORK.
New lead comes in.
Money in the bank
Sure, it would be nice to feel good while doing what you have to do, but in all honesty, you don’t really care how it feels.
At this point, you just need this to work.
And what you’re doing right now is NOT working.
You’ve tried a bunch of things. You’ve followed all the rules.
The voice inside your head (that sounds suspiciously like that hyped-up, keep-going-at-all-costs motivational speaker you watched on Facebook last week) keeps saying,
"You just need to push harder. Get out of your comfort zone. That’s your problem - you’re too comfortable. Stop being so touchy and develop some GRIT."
And to that, you think,
"Well, yeah. I know I should be doing more video because everyone says “Video is king!” and my ICA is probably watching YouTube sometimes.
Plus, I should be running Facebook ads because obviously everyone, including my ICA, is on Facebook.
And of course Instagram. Freaking Instagram. My ICA is obsessed with it. If only I could get comfortable showing my face on Stories. I know I should be trying harder with that."
Let me stop you right there.
You say you need to get out of your comfort zone.
Your list of ways to get out of your comfort zone is endless. YouTube, Facebook ads, Instagram stories, just to name a few.
But do you really think forcing yourself to do these things you quite obviously DON’T WANT TO DO is the missing link between where you are right now and your ultimate business goals?
I call bullsh*t on that idea.
I call bullsh*t on trying harder and getting out of your comfort zone and pushing your feelings aside in order to succeed.
I don’t think you can reach true success - whatever you define “success” to be in your life and business - by feeling like crap.
It's time to choose what feels good and exciting to you, over the "shoulds."
Because here’s the deal.
The “shoulds” can only ever lead to SHAME.
Think about it. When the word “should” is in a sentence, its sole purpose is to indicate that if you DON’T do the thing you “should” do, you will feel shame about it.
Here’s an example:
"I should order a salad."
WHY IS SHOULD EVEN IN THAT SENTENCE???
To indicate that if I DON’T order a salad, I’ll feel shame for having not ordered a salad.
I should publish more videos.
I should figure out Facebook ads.
I should be better with Instagram stories.
And more shame.
Deeper into the feel-like-sh*t hole we go.
“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
Now watch what happens when I change the word “should” to “could.”
I could publish more videos.
I could figure out Facebook ads.
I could be better with Instagram stories.
And more choice.
Ah, do you feel that? The opportunity to choose? And the lightness that comes with it?
Now let me ask you.
Who do YOU want to be around more?
The person who is shaming themselves into taking action, feeling like sh*t, and becoming more and more shackled by all the things they feel like they should be doing?
Or the person who acknowledges their opportunity to choose how they market their business, feels empowered to make meaningful impact, and brings about a light and free air everywhere they go?
Uh, the second one. Please and thank you.
Don’t we naturally, without even consciously thinking about it, want to be around empowered people doing things that make them happy?
YES. We do.
So why would we ever think that the answer to all of our marketing woes would be to do more of the crap that makes us feel shamed, sh*tty, and shackled?
Showing up like that only REPELS people.
Maybe that’s what’s been happening all along for you?
Maybe you’ve been inadvertently repelling people. You certainly didn’t mean to. I mean, you want to grow your business more than anything in the world. You WANT TO ATTRACT your ICA!
But because you swallowed the “shoulds” the marketing gurus spoon-fed you and then showed up to your desk every day with this cloud of should-y shame hanging over you, your ICAs picked up on that icky energy and were repelled by it.
It turns out that how you feel when you market your business really does matter.
But listen, before you start freaking out and blaming yourself for this and thinking, OH MY GOSH I’VE SCREWED IT ALL UP. THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME.
Slow that roll, friend.
You are just fine.
You’re better than fine.
Because now you know. Your eyes have been opened to what’s been blocking business growth all this time. You can now see the wall that has kept you from attracting your best clients and customers from you this whole time.
Now you get to take that wall down.
And bonus, I’ll be right here to help you.
Without me, you’d have to go brick-by-brick.
But don’t worry - I’ve got a few wrecking balls to use. That wall will be down in no time.